Tears welled up in my eyes as I held his hand and assured him that Jesus loves him. Deep in my heart, I could feel that his time here on earth is VERY near to end.
He’s not my relative…but I still felt hurt. I just tried to feed him his breakfast but he kept on coughing productively. I could see that he’s in pain as I wiped the tears rolling down his cheeks.
Recalling the events during the last three nights (of which, I was on night duty – alone), I thank God for answering all my prayers: First, that this old man did not pass away during my shift (duh, I’m alone; I don’t like to disturb my tired friends) and second, that all residents slept well.
But on those night duties, I can’t avoid to feel spine-chilled (hmm, human nature). At the middle of the quiet night, Bed 62 pressed the call bell so I ran down to the first floor to attend to him. He told me to give him his blue bed(?) (or bag?) pointing at the foot part of his bed. I saw only a blue chair and showed it to him. He shook his head and said there are three ‘beds’, two are white and the third is blue and is for him. He asked me to call Tom, our general worker, because he knows it. But I told him that I cannot disturb Tom because he has to rest and wake up early to prepare their breakfast and I reassured him that I’ll inform Tom the next day. Hmmm, I remember last week after Eli’s night duty and I was on day duty. Before I bathe him, he told me that someone came to his room that night with a green bag, like sleeping bag. Hayooooww…
I asked him if he knows Jesus; he shook his head. I told him that Jesus loves him, died for him, and can forgive his sins. I, then, prayed for him and he slept at least three hours and called me exactly for his breakfast.
SECOND NIGHT. His daughter asked me to give anything to bluff him on that blue thing that he is asking for to comfort him. I tried to tell her that once I gave him a real blue thing, he will pass away, but she seemed not to mind what I said and just told me that I do whatever I can to make him comfortable and live better. She told me that he related to her that there are three men below his TV and one of them is a god. She then asked if it’s their Chinese god but he said no. He said that He’s the One on the cross, so she took him to our nursing home altar. After his relatives left, I talked to him and prayed for him telling him again that Jesus loves him.
So far, that night he just called me to change his sleeping position.
THIRD CREEPY NIGHT. The daughter confronted me of not giving that blue thing to him (he told her). I told her that he never asked and tried again to tell her that once I give it, it’s his end (because he said that that blue bed was offered by ‘God’ and will make him sleep so well). He was coughing productively (I remember Mr. Naidu before he passed away; I cleaned his mouth several times because of thick phlegm) and starts to become breathless. I prepared his PRN Morphine. As I entered his room, his relatives were silently crying. I just kept quiet and showed them my empathy, administered the medicine, and gave them privacy. Before leaving, his daughter once more reminded me to provide the comfort that he needs.
That night, I was busy until midnight when all residents were settled in bed. Then the call bell rang and the screen showed that familiar figure 62. I ran down to see him. He asked me of that blue thing again. I tried to bluff him pulling up the white blanket and reassured him. He pulled it up and said, “Not this, the blue one, like this”, pointing at the blue color on my uniform. I then told him that there’s no blue bed in the room; he keeps on insisting that there is. He then pleaded that I let him sit at the wheelchair. As I propped him up and let him sit the edge of the bed, he said, “There are two men sitting there.” I felt goose bumps as he pointed at the empty space in front of us. He then pushed away the wheelchair and said he doesn’t like to sit anymore. So I helped him lie down again.
I didn’t say anything but he again mentioned that there were two men sitting there. I uttered a silent prayer and whispered, “Go away, Satan!”
Thinking he is sleeping, I turned to the door when he called my name and asked his friend’s name. I told him I don’t know and that I’ll ask his daughter the next day. But he keeps on asking about it. I just told him again that Jesus loves him, and he said that He’s his friend. So I stayed a little longer and prayed WITH him. Helping him to fold his hands, I prayed thanking God and asking for forgiveness of our sins. He then told me “OK” meaning I can go.
At least every 30 minutes, he rang the bell and I went down carrying my Bible and read him some verses until 3am. Starting this time, there were no calls from him making me worried. So from time to time, I went down to check on him – if he is still breathing. Thank God, he slept well until 7:30am this morning when I woke him up for his breakfast.
I was wiping my tears when the hand phone beeped. It was a message from Dr. Bel, our boss, reminding me and the others to update her every after shift on the residents’ status. I reported that everything’s ok except for Mr. SLS who is breathless, has phlegm, very weak, has hallucinations, etc. etc..
Before going off from duty, I told him that I am going to church today and I will remember him in my prayers. He nodded his head. Before I went to church, I peeped in his room and bade him goodbye.
I came back that evening and I first checked his room – empty. Disregarding the thought that he passed away, I thought that maybe they transferred him to the open dorm. I saw my on-duty friends and they informed me that he drew his last breath at 3pm. Another friend told me that he uttered these words to her: “Bye bye, May.”
Thank God, I did my part. I cared for him, partially out of work, but mostly of my caring nature. I treated him like my own grandpa. And above all, I am happy I was able to impart to him about Jesus’ love. Thank You, Lord, for our lives. And for Mr. SLS, I will always remember that day when you mentioned you appreciate and like my songs. And for the bereaved family, thank you for the trust and for the food goodies.^^
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